we have pet lesbian snakes
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
