yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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