is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
