Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
