i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Pooping to opera.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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