Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
