Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
