i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
