when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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