Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
