fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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