At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
