People with herpes should wear stickers.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
