if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
