Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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