upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
