on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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