so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
