Cold hands, warm shart.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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