I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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