I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
