what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
