glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
