I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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