went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
