So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
