I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You are a genius and a whore.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
