he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
