we made out on top of his cat.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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