PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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