Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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