You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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