So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
