i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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