Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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