When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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