Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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