So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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