1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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