apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
