i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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