My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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