sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
