I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
