p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
