Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
