i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
