literally had 100 drinks last night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This is my gift to your gina
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
