I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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