Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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